Nolan

So tonight I was at the neighborhood monthly ladies Bunko (or “Drunko” as it often is referred to apparently by some of the husbands of said group). Since about half the ladies have a child starting Kindergarten next year we were of course discussing this. The subject of the Kindergarten Kick Off came up. One of the mothers said she when she asked her son about the hour he told her how they worked on their alphabet, practiced counting various things around the room, and read books. I reluctantly shared with her that when I picked Nolan up I was told by the Kindergarten teacher that Nolan showed the group his break dancing skills and that the only other piece of information I received was that they did the Chicken Dance. Huh? Their classrooms were right next to each other. How is this possible? The other ladies laughed (to my horror and embarrassment of course). I proceeded to say that I am convinced that Nolan now has a black mark by his name. The mother then said, “Well actually that is funny you mention that. I was at the school the next day and I bumped into the teacher that Casey had last night. I asked her to be honest regarding if they were making mental notes of the kids.” The mom said the teacher laughed and said “Actually we were!” I KNEW IT!!!

So much for starting off on the right foot.

(Outside the Kindergarten Wing)

Attend Kindergarten Kick Off

Almost two weeks ago we went to Nolan’s new elementary school for orientation. The purpose was two fold. One for the children to meet the Kindergarten team, spend time in their future classrooms and see the school. The parents simultaneously attended an information meeting. And I do mean an informational meeting. My head was spinning by the time we left (for many reasons though as you can imagine).

At check in we were enthusiastically welcomed by elementary school staff and briefly told about the evening. Nolan was quickly whisked away to the Kindergarten “Pod” as they call it while James and I (and our sidekick Griffin) were ushered into the gym. As James and I walked in the opposite direction as Nolan I found myself noticing the symbolism as to what is to come in three short months.

For almost the next hour the parents heard from the principal, assistant principal and school counselor. We were informed about school policies, carpool lanes, various programs and activities offered through the school and general expectations for the next year. We were reminded that Kindergarten has changed significantly since we started elementary school. Expectations have drastically changed for these five year olds. “They will hit the ground running regarding their learning and what is expected regarding their education,” we were told by the principal. In other words, Kindergarten is serious business. The children will be challenged and the expectations for what they should already know and what they will learn next year is high.

When the school counselor spoke she started by reading a sweet poem/story about a little girl getting onto the school bus on her first day of Kindergarten. The story detailed the fabulous first day of this little girl, but how hard it was for her parents to cope and adjust. Of course I instantly could relate to the story and how I would be feeling. The school counselor, like any good therapist, acknowledged how hard this transition often is for the parents and reflected how we may be feeling. She normalized these feelings and it felt good. (Yes, I teared up several times as she spoke).

She also told us about how the first day of school will work. She invited us to the “Tears and Cheers” breakfast held directly after we settle our children at their desks on the first day. This is a support meeting of sorts, hosted by the school, to soothe the parents and celebrate this momentous first day. I was very touched by this gesture and made me love the school even more. I. AM. NOT. ALONE. Many other parents will struggle, as I will.

When the meeting was over we went to the Kindergarten “Pod” to retrieve Nolan in his designated classroom for the evening. As we were greeted and asked who were to there to pick up, the teacher said and I quote, “Nolan is quite the break dancer. He showed us all his moves.” BACK UP is what I thought in my head. Excuse me? What did you say? Why in the world was Nolan break dancing? I thought.   I am absolutely convinced the teachers were taking mental notes on these future Kindergarteners and Nolan already has a black mark by his name. He ran over to James and I. He was so excited. He told us about everything they had done in that hour. Also in typical Nolan fashion, he told us he already made two friends. He repeatedly asked how many days until Kindergarten starts and his wish that it would start tomorrow. Nolan and I could not be more apart in our wishes.

As much as I am struggling a great deal with this, I am so happy and excited for Nolan. He cannot wait for the school year to start. I am picking up his school spirit shirt tomorrow. He can’t wait to wear it. I truly could not ask for more. I am lucky he is so excited and ready. What if he was dreading it? Now that would be awful. It is just me.

Nolan “graduates” this Thursday from preschool. They will have a formal graduation with a cap and gown. All Nolan has told me is that he is happy that the children will only sing two songs (as opposed to seven apparently at Spring Sing) and that the cap is itchy. Typical.

I teared up as I walked the hallway towards Nolan’s classroom on Monday. We have so many wonderful memories from his school. He has grown and changed so much from the first day I dropped him off at the door to his classroom when he was 2 ½ years old. Where has the time gone? Where has it gone?

I received an email from the mom of Nolan’s best school friend yesterday. She asked how I was “holding up” regarding graduation this week. She said she is basket case and will bawl her eyes out on Thursday. We hope to sit next to each other for moral support. I am not alone. Not alone regarding all the parents who will be sad at graduation and not alone on Nolan’s first day of Kindergarten. This much I know. The rest? Well I am just taking it one step at a time.

Today I (and my sidekick Griffin) went to Nolan’s “Muffins with Mom” breakfast at his preschool. He and I were both so excited. On the drive to school this morning Nolan said to me, “I am really excited about Moms with Muffins (he got it backwards), but I don’t really think I like muffins.”

As with the other Muffins with Moms events in years past, this year did not disappoint. In fact it was the best one yet! His teachers created a Hawaiian inspired theme. The room was completely decorated. We were presented a lei upon entering the room. We were treated to muffins (of course), tropical fruit, and orange juice with pink flamingo straws. (Side note. When I showed James the pictures from the morning, he was quick to point out that his Donuts with Dads was not nearly as fancy. I was quick to counter back, “Well mothers do most of the work with kids. We deserve it. “

Nolan could not wait to give me his presents. I was given a coupon book, a coaster, and a beautiful necklace. I later told Nolan that I was going to cash in my coupon for breakfast in bed soon. He told me that he was too little too cook me breakfast. So much for the coupons! When I first saw the necklace, I instantly knew the kids did not have much to do with the creation of it. The necklace was a hand painted domino with the my initial stamped in the center. I love it! This was definitely more a gift that the teachers gave us. Very sweet and thoughtful. I have seen these sold in stores before. Nolan made sure I wore the necklace all day. We also received the obligatory fill in the blank sheet about your mom. This year, Nolan wrote the responses himself. Thank goodness the teachers translated.

Here is what he wrote.

My mom’s favorite color is “red”.

Her eyes are “brown” and her her hair is “sort of red”.

She likes me to “put trash bags in the trash cans.”

She makes the best “cookies” in the whole wide world.

My favorite thing to do with my mom is “go to a bounce house place.”

I love it when my mom “kisses me.”

I know my mom loves me because “she hugs me.”

At the end, the class sang us a song. Nolan twirled his lei the entire time, but I was not surprised in the least. That is my boy!

Another very special morning with sweet memories made.

Here are a few pictures.

(Holding his Kindergarten packet after registration outside of his elementary school)

Several weeks ago I registered Nolan for Kindergarten. Kindergarten. I cannot shake it. I do not want him to go. I can barely count the number of months (which is 3 and a half by the way) without getting a lump in my throat. I just cannot believe it. I wish I was in denial. That would be easier wouldn’t it? Instead I think about it all. the. time. Nolan is more than ready to go. It is me that wishes I could refuse to let go.

I do not think when a new parent is told to cherish the time, that it will go quickly, that your child will be grown before you know it, that they believe that actually is the case. It is so TRUE! I can assure you it feels like yesterday that Nolan was born, that he started to crawl, said momma for the first time, started preschool, and so on.   As I prepare myself for this transition, I worry and fear I did not relish in the time we had together enough. I reminisce and wonder if I spent enough time with him. Did I put off the laundry and paying bills and cleaning the house like I should have? Did I remember to really enjoy these first five years of life? I don’t know. I feel like I have, but then I feel like I could have done better. I think my doubts are normal and to expected for many mothers who face sending a child to Kindergarten. I know this, but can’t stop myself! I just want more of “this” time.

I know he is just five and we have so many wonderful experiences and memories ahead of us, but what I cannot get past, is that it will never be like this again. It just won’t. From here on out I only have my precious boy on nights and weekends for nine to ten months of the year. This is not OK!

Yesterday I had a parent/teacher conference with Nolan’s teacher. She said with the utmost certainty, “Nolan is more than ready for Kindergarten. He could start tomorrow and will do well.” This is of course is what every parent wants to hear. And the truth is, Nolan is ready. I know it. James knows it. His teachers know it. Nolan knows it. He is very excited and very much looking forward to the new school year. (Of course I joke to myself that in many ways Nolan is naïve. Starting Kindergarten is just the beginning of years of homework, studying, tests, and so on. I will let the innocence live on a while longer. Soon enough he will discover that on his own).

Nolan has always had a positive experience in school. He loves to learn. He loves to be social (this definitely could be a negative according to his teacher yesterday too). He loves new experiences. He is ready. I cognitively know this. My heart just completely disagrees.

My neighbor friends in Bunko promise me that we will love his elementary school. They sing the praises of this school and the teachers. Every single neighbor I talk to goes on and one with great enthusiasm about what a great school Nolan will be attending. They assure me all of my anxiety and sadness about this transition will subside when they see how much Nolan enjoys school. Of course this brings me great comfort, but still. Still, I am not ready.

But I have no choice. I will suck it up and join Nolan in being excited about starting Kindergarten in three and a half months. <Gulp> We will have a great summer. I will cherish these months like I never have before. We will make the most of this special time, because in my mind it will forever be different after this summer.

I will walk Nolan proudly and confidently into school on the first day of school. I will, without a doubt, show him how excited I am for him. I will smile as I help get him settled. I will give him a great big hug and tell him to have a great day. I will smile all the way out of the building. And then I will cry.

A couple of weeks ago Nolan had his Spring concert and Open House at his preschool. Before I even arrived in the parking lot, I became teary eyed. So many changes on the horizon for him and I am having trouble adjusting to them. Nolan, on the other hand, could not be more excited and ready.

As to be expected, the concert was cute, funny, and quite entertaining. Nolan participated most of the time. Every now his enthusiasum for the singing (and hand movements) would fade, but then he would spring back to life. Such cherished memories for sure!

I cannot believe he is nearing the end of preschool. How is this possible?? Wasn’t it just yesterday I was in my first go round of preschool registration craziness? (Big old sigh! )

Here are the pictures from the evening.